The more often I don't quit when I'm tired, the stronger I become.
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Victory!
I know... I said I'd give you the details of my 14 miles, but I'm running late this morning (what else is new) so the best I can do is give you an idea of how I felt when it was done. Cheesy, I know... but it does perfectly capture how I felt.
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Exploring Failure
This morning I am nervous.
I woke up early so I could go watch the Disney Princess Half Marathon. I'm hoping that inspires me enough so that when I attempt (re-attempt) my 14 miles this afternoon I can actually make it. But I'm still sitting here at the computer and I recognize that despite all my justifications (I just woke up, I need some wake-up time at the computer) the bottom line is that I haven't gotten out the door because I'm nervous.
What if I fail again?
What if this week turns out like last week. I've told everyone I'm going to do 14, just like I did last week. But last week I let myself stop early. Oh, I had magnificently valid reasons. They felt really true at the time and some still do. Not running through a relatively unpopulated area after dark (which was the ultimate realization that made me stop) still makes logical sense to me, but it still means I didn't get the 14 in. What if there's some equally valid reason that I fail again today?
Why do I call it failure when it was a decision made with my safety and discretion in mind? It was the smart decision and I still believe that. But the bottom line is I was going to do my 14 and I didn't do it. For whatever reason. It didn't happen. I failed.
I hate failure.
I used to go through life with the idea that every day was another day to screw things up royally, so don't. Let me be the first to tell you that's not an easy or comfortable way to look at life. To be quite frank it's very stressful. But it is the outlook that allowed me to succeed at whatever I turned my hand to. Not screwing it up royally usually means getting it right, getting it right the first time, and making sure that my results were so far away from failure that no one could mistake the two.
Life is pass/fail and if I don't allow myself to fail at anything then I pass.
But I let myself fail last weekend. Sure, I did okay... got in almost 11 miles but there's a little, insistent voice in my head that keeps saying, "Big deal! You got in more miles the week before, you lazy, slackard, failure. You're supposed to be moving forward here, not moving backwards. You got in less miles than the week before so you failed."
Honestly, I hope most of you don't have that particular little voice in your head because he's a cheeky little pain in the butt. But, it's not a voice I'm ready to get rid of because for me it's one of the voices of motivation. And what he's saying is true.... I did fail because I didn't meet my goal.
But maybe it's not the end of the world. Maybe, just maybe, I can look at it as a setback instead of failure. If I can make it a temporary thing and overcome it and actually do the 14 today then I won't have failed. At least not permanently. If I don't let that go on my "permanent record" -- if I make sure that the failure to miss the mark is followed by a strong-willed retry that actually hits the bullseye this time -- then maybe, just maybe, it's not exactly failure but a setback.
A setback is something I can live with.
According to ThinkExist.com, Edison said the following about success and failure:
And with those reminders, I'm sitting here this morning trying to convince myself that I'm only a failure if I quit trying. As long as I keep at it, sooner or later my hard work, determination and sheer force of indomitable will should make me hit that 14, if not today then the next time.
But it's gonna be today! It has to be today, damn it!
I have to look at it that way. I cannot give myself an excuse before I even start the run. I will not fail today. Of course, if I do, I'll be giving myself a similar pep talk next week when I decide to pick myself up and try again. But that's after having had to admit to everyone that I once again failed.
Which is embarrassing to have to do. It'd be a lot easier if I just wouldn't tell folks what I'm attempting. But the knowledge that I'd have to go back and tell them that I didn't make the mark sometimes helps me keep going where I might quit because admitting failure is something I don't take lightly. And despite looking at last week as a setback, it only becomes a setback if I actually succeed at some point after that. Until I do, it's a failure. And failure doesn't fit into my view of myself.
So today I try again. Today I put my will and determination against the pain, time, fatigue and all the other factors that must be conquered for success to be achieved. Today I once again attempt to hit the well-defined bullseye of 14 miles. Either I'll make it or I won't. It's simple. It's imminently measurable. There is no bell curve here -- it's pass/fail.
And I'm nervous.
I woke up early so I could go watch the Disney Princess Half Marathon. I'm hoping that inspires me enough so that when I attempt (re-attempt) my 14 miles this afternoon I can actually make it. But I'm still sitting here at the computer and I recognize that despite all my justifications (I just woke up, I need some wake-up time at the computer) the bottom line is that I haven't gotten out the door because I'm nervous.
What if I fail again?
What if this week turns out like last week. I've told everyone I'm going to do 14, just like I did last week. But last week I let myself stop early. Oh, I had magnificently valid reasons. They felt really true at the time and some still do. Not running through a relatively unpopulated area after dark (which was the ultimate realization that made me stop) still makes logical sense to me, but it still means I didn't get the 14 in. What if there's some equally valid reason that I fail again today?
Why do I call it failure when it was a decision made with my safety and discretion in mind? It was the smart decision and I still believe that. But the bottom line is I was going to do my 14 and I didn't do it. For whatever reason. It didn't happen. I failed.
I hate failure.
I used to go through life with the idea that every day was another day to screw things up royally, so don't. Let me be the first to tell you that's not an easy or comfortable way to look at life. To be quite frank it's very stressful. But it is the outlook that allowed me to succeed at whatever I turned my hand to. Not screwing it up royally usually means getting it right, getting it right the first time, and making sure that my results were so far away from failure that no one could mistake the two.
Life is pass/fail and if I don't allow myself to fail at anything then I pass.
But I let myself fail last weekend. Sure, I did okay... got in almost 11 miles but there's a little, insistent voice in my head that keeps saying, "Big deal! You got in more miles the week before, you lazy, slackard, failure. You're supposed to be moving forward here, not moving backwards. You got in less miles than the week before so you failed."
Honestly, I hope most of you don't have that particular little voice in your head because he's a cheeky little pain in the butt. But, it's not a voice I'm ready to get rid of because for me it's one of the voices of motivation. And what he's saying is true.... I did fail because I didn't meet my goal.
But maybe it's not the end of the world. Maybe, just maybe, I can look at it as a setback instead of failure. If I can make it a temporary thing and overcome it and actually do the 14 today then I won't have failed. At least not permanently. If I don't let that go on my "permanent record" -- if I make sure that the failure to miss the mark is followed by a strong-willed retry that actually hits the bullseye this time -- then maybe, just maybe, it's not exactly failure but a setback.
A setback is something I can live with.
According to ThinkExist.com, Edison said the following about success and failure:
“I haven't failed, I've found 10,000 ways that don't work”
“I never failed once. It just happened to be a 2000-step process.”
“Nearly every man who develops an idea works it up to the point where it looks impossible, and then he gets discouraged. That's not the place to become discouraged.”
“Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.”
“I am not discouraged, because every wrong attempt discarded is another step forward.”
“Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.”
“Our greatest weakness lies in giving up.”
And with those reminders, I'm sitting here this morning trying to convince myself that I'm only a failure if I quit trying. As long as I keep at it, sooner or later my hard work, determination and sheer force of indomitable will should make me hit that 14, if not today then the next time.
But it's gonna be today! It has to be today, damn it!
I have to look at it that way. I cannot give myself an excuse before I even start the run. I will not fail today. Of course, if I do, I'll be giving myself a similar pep talk next week when I decide to pick myself up and try again. But that's after having had to admit to everyone that I once again failed.
Which is embarrassing to have to do. It'd be a lot easier if I just wouldn't tell folks what I'm attempting. But the knowledge that I'd have to go back and tell them that I didn't make the mark sometimes helps me keep going where I might quit because admitting failure is something I don't take lightly. And despite looking at last week as a setback, it only becomes a setback if I actually succeed at some point after that. Until I do, it's a failure. And failure doesn't fit into my view of myself.
So today I try again. Today I put my will and determination against the pain, time, fatigue and all the other factors that must be conquered for success to be achieved. Today I once again attempt to hit the well-defined bullseye of 14 miles. Either I'll make it or I won't. It's simple. It's imminently measurable. There is no bell curve here -- it's pass/fail.
And I'm nervous.
Friday, February 24, 2012
Overslept
My Friday did not start out well.... hopefully I can get moving soon and start catching up on some lost time. First thing to get my time corrected is not go to the gym.... serious bummer!
Thursday, February 23, 2012
New Personal Record - 11:57 Average Pace
I sure didn't feel like running this morning. But I'm no quitter so off I went to the gym. Besides, I wanted to break that 12:00 min/mile average pace. My brain kept telling me all the reasons I didn't feel like doing 30 minutes this morning, but I kept going. At 20:00 I pushed the pace up to 5.1mph and ran the last 10 minutes at that.
Did it work?
But of course! 2.51 miles on my 30 minute run equals an 11:57 average pace.
Did it work?
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Can't? Yeah, Right.
I saw a thought on Facebook yesterday that said "Don't let anybody tell you 'you can't' just because they can't." Ooooh, that's such excellent advice. When I started running so many people were concerned about me. I understand their concern, of course. It did seem rather silly to take up something like running at the age of 46. But I did it anyway because walking/running was working for the weight loss goal.
And at first they were right.... I couldn't run. Heck, I'm still mostly walking during my long "runs". But I know that will change eventually. Why? Because when I first started doing this crazy thing I was averaging 16 or 17 minutes per mile. Soon... very soon.... (maybe even this morning) I'll break the 12 minute mile pace, at least on the treadmill. And when I first started it was pretty much all I could do to get a mile in. So far, my best personal record is almost 12 miles and this weekend I expect to hit 14.
No, "can't" has never played a part in my vocabulary -- except as a challenge. Just as soon as someone tells me I can't do something, that when I start finding a way around whatever obstacles are in my way. I've always been that way. But now that I'm a runner, I don't go around those "can't" walls anymore. I run right through them.
Why?
Because I can!
And at first they were right.... I couldn't run. Heck, I'm still mostly walking during my long "runs". But I know that will change eventually. Why? Because when I first started doing this crazy thing I was averaging 16 or 17 minutes per mile. Soon... very soon.... (maybe even this morning) I'll break the 12 minute mile pace, at least on the treadmill. And when I first started it was pretty much all I could do to get a mile in. So far, my best personal record is almost 12 miles and this weekend I expect to hit 14.
No, "can't" has never played a part in my vocabulary -- except as a challenge. Just as soon as someone tells me I can't do something, that when I start finding a way around whatever obstacles are in my way. I've always been that way. But now that I'm a runner, I don't go around those "can't" walls anymore. I run right through them.
Why?
Because I can!
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Anticipating The Princess Half Marathon
I'm getting up early on Sunday to go be a spectator at the runDisney Princess Half Marathon. Even though I'm only spectating I'm so very much looking forward to the excitement. And then after the race, I'll be all pumped and go get in my long run for the weekend.
In case you can't see the video, you can go watch it on YouTube
In case you can't see the video, you can go watch it on YouTube
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
New Personal Record
Ooooh, today started off perfect! I hit a new personal record by running 30 minutes without stopping!!!
(can ya tell I'm just a bit excited about this!)
Weekday 30 Min Run
Distance: 2.49
Avg Pace: 12:03
(can ya tell I'm just a bit excited about this!)
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Distance: 2.49
Avg Pace: 12:03
Stronger (What Doesn't Kill You)
The Walt Disney World Princess Half Marathon is this weekend. Just last week, fans voted this song as the one that will officially be playing at Mile 7. I hadn't heard this one before, but it's DEFINITELY going on my playlist!
Enjoy!
Lyrics:
You know the bed feels warmer,
Sleeping here alone,
You know I dream in color,
And do the things I want.
You think you got the best of me
Think you had the last laugh
Bet you think that everything good is gone.
Think you left me broken down
Think that i'd come running back
Baby you don't know me, cause you're dead wrong.
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
stand a little taller
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone.
What doesn't kill you makes a fighter
Footsteps even lighter
Doesn't mean I'm over cause you're gone.
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stronger
Just me, Myself and I
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone.
You heard that I was starting over with someone new,
They told you I was moving on over you,
You didn't think that I'd come back ,i'd come back swinging
You try to break me but you see
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
stand a little taller
doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone.
What doesn't kill you makes a fighter
Footsteps even lighter
doesn't mean I'm over cause your gone.
what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stronger
Just me, myself and I
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone
Thanks to you I got a new thing started
Thanks to you I'm not the broken hearted
Thanks to you I'm finally thinking 'bout me
You know in the end the day I left was just my beginning..... in the end...
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone
What doesn't kill you makes a fighter
Footsteps even lighter
doesn't mean I'm over cause you gone.
What doesnt kill you makes you stronger, stronger
Just me, Myself and I
What doesnt kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when Im alone.
Enjoy!
Lyrics:
You know the bed feels warmer,
Sleeping here alone,
You know I dream in color,
And do the things I want.
You think you got the best of me
Think you had the last laugh
Bet you think that everything good is gone.
Think you left me broken down
Think that i'd come running back
Baby you don't know me, cause you're dead wrong.
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
stand a little taller
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone.
What doesn't kill you makes a fighter
Footsteps even lighter
Doesn't mean I'm over cause you're gone.
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stronger
Just me, Myself and I
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone.
You heard that I was starting over with someone new,
They told you I was moving on over you,
You didn't think that I'd come back ,i'd come back swinging
You try to break me but you see
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
stand a little taller
doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone.
What doesn't kill you makes a fighter
Footsteps even lighter
doesn't mean I'm over cause your gone.
what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stronger
Just me, myself and I
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone
Thanks to you I got a new thing started
Thanks to you I'm not the broken hearted
Thanks to you I'm finally thinking 'bout me
You know in the end the day I left was just my beginning..... in the end...
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone
What doesn't kill you makes a fighter
Footsteps even lighter
doesn't mean I'm over cause you gone.
What doesnt kill you makes you stronger, stronger
Just me, Myself and I
What doesnt kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when Im alone.
Monday, February 20, 2012
Attitude Keeps You Trying
Ability is what you're capable of doing. Motivation determines what you do. Attitude determines how well you do it. -- Lou Holtz
It really is all about attitude.
I did just under 11 miles yesterday. Sounds pretty good, I know. But I see it as a failure. My goal was to do 14. And, I did 11.83 last week so this was a step back. And I'm not at all happy with my performance. My friends have all been telling me that it was a job well done anyway and I know that it was much better than I could have hoped to do a few months ago. But still it was a failure.
What you have to understand is that I see life as pretty much pass/fail. As Yoda said, "Do or don't do. There is no try." Life isn't judged on a bell curve but is instead pass/fail. I didn't meet my goal, so I failed.
This week.
My attitude is what will get me up again next week to give it another try. Because my attitude is pass/fail. Or in other words it's win/lose. You don't get a trophy just for showing up on the field. And because I have an attitude like that I know I'll be out again next week to get 'er done!
Y'all have a great day!
It really is all about attitude.
I did just under 11 miles yesterday. Sounds pretty good, I know. But I see it as a failure. My goal was to do 14. And, I did 11.83 last week so this was a step back. And I'm not at all happy with my performance. My friends have all been telling me that it was a job well done anyway and I know that it was much better than I could have hoped to do a few months ago. But still it was a failure.
What you have to understand is that I see life as pretty much pass/fail. As Yoda said, "Do or don't do. There is no try." Life isn't judged on a bell curve but is instead pass/fail. I didn't meet my goal, so I failed.
This week.
My attitude is what will get me up again next week to give it another try. Because my attitude is pass/fail. Or in other words it's win/lose. You don't get a trophy just for showing up on the field. And because I have an attitude like that I know I'll be out again next week to get 'er done!
Y'all have a great day!
Friday, February 17, 2012
The Best Laid Plans
Woot! It's finally Friday!!!
I find myself getting very happy on Fridays because I know it means I have a long run the next day. At least I usually do. And tomorrow was all set to be the day that I hit the 14 mile mark. It's only one more lap around the neighborhood than I've done so far so I figured I'd make it. I've been psyching myself up all week to be able to do this and I'm so ready! I even talked to Dad about him giving one child a ride back home from an activity. Okay, so..... willingness? Check. Time? Now that transportation's taken care of, check. Mental toughness? Um, check? No, check. Yes, check!
Then the other child asks if he can do an activity that falls right in the middle of when I was going to run.
Arrrrggggggggghhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!
No, Dad can't help with transportation for this one. Him working nights means he'll need to be asleep when this one needs a ride.
Bummer! I guess there goes my run, huh? Color me completely displeased!! But, what're ya gonna do? Being a parent is a responsibility I accepted years ago and that means I have to put myself last sometimes. Dang!!!
There has to be a way around this. It's just an obstacle and those are meant to be overcome.
Hmmmmmm.....
Wait a minute..... who says I can't go running on Sunday? If I don't go to the martial arts meetup then I'll have the time. Yeah! That's it!!! I'll just do the 14 miles on Sunday after playing Mom's Taxi on Saturday.
So what are your plans for the weekend?
I find myself getting very happy on Fridays because I know it means I have a long run the next day. At least I usually do. And tomorrow was all set to be the day that I hit the 14 mile mark. It's only one more lap around the neighborhood than I've done so far so I figured I'd make it. I've been psyching myself up all week to be able to do this and I'm so ready! I even talked to Dad about him giving one child a ride back home from an activity. Okay, so..... willingness? Check. Time? Now that transportation's taken care of, check. Mental toughness? Um, check? No, check. Yes, check!
Then the other child asks if he can do an activity that falls right in the middle of when I was going to run.
Arrrrggggggggghhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!
No, Dad can't help with transportation for this one. Him working nights means he'll need to be asleep when this one needs a ride.
Bummer! I guess there goes my run, huh? Color me completely displeased!! But, what're ya gonna do? Being a parent is a responsibility I accepted years ago and that means I have to put myself last sometimes. Dang!!!
There has to be a way around this. It's just an obstacle and those are meant to be overcome.
Hmmmmmm.....
Wait a minute..... who says I can't go running on Sunday? If I don't go to the martial arts meetup then I'll have the time. Yeah! That's it!!! I'll just do the 14 miles on Sunday after playing Mom's Taxi on Saturday.
So what are your plans for the weekend?
Thursday, February 16, 2012
Stats for Feb 16, 2012 Run
I'm going to start tracking my stats on here. I don't know why... maybe I'm just proud. ;-)
Anyway....
And... since some folks get this in email and don't see the pictures:
Distance 2.48 miles
Duration: 30 minutes
Average Pace: 12:06
Average Speed: 4.96
Not too shabby! The last three minutes of the run was an absolute bitch! (please pardon the french). But I guess I proved I'm a bigger one!
Have a great day, y'all!
Anyway....
And... since some folks get this in email and don't see the pictures:
Distance 2.48 miles
Duration: 30 minutes
Average Pace: 12:06
Average Speed: 4.96
Not too shabby! The last three minutes of the run was an absolute bitch! (please pardon the french). But I guess I proved I'm a bigger one!
Have a great day, y'all!
Running as Therapy
"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." -- Oscar Wilde
It's all a matter of perspective and what you're focusing on. Sometimes I feel terribly insecure (big surprise -- NOT -- to those of you that really know me). It's then that running helps so very much. When I'm feeling that way, if I can I go running. If I can't go running at the time I remember my last run. Either way I get a feeling of accomplishment.
Unless, of course, I totally blew my last run and let my mind step back from whatever goal I've set for myself. If that happened on my last run then the insecurities are multiplied.
But in general, the success I've had at pushing myself to go further, faster, longer than I have before reminds me that I can do anything I set my mind to. And knowing that, I feel a bit better about myself. And loving myself a little more I'm a bit more likely to accept the idea that other people truly do love me and aren't just being nice out of pity (yeah, the twists and turns my mind can take are pretty convoluted sometimes).
Running as therapy, huh?
Well, it's cheaper than a psychiatrist. :-)
Have a great day, y'all!
It's all a matter of perspective and what you're focusing on. Sometimes I feel terribly insecure (big surprise -- NOT -- to those of you that really know me). It's then that running helps so very much. When I'm feeling that way, if I can I go running. If I can't go running at the time I remember my last run. Either way I get a feeling of accomplishment.
Unless, of course, I totally blew my last run and let my mind step back from whatever goal I've set for myself. If that happened on my last run then the insecurities are multiplied.
But in general, the success I've had at pushing myself to go further, faster, longer than I have before reminds me that I can do anything I set my mind to. And knowing that, I feel a bit better about myself. And loving myself a little more I'm a bit more likely to accept the idea that other people truly do love me and aren't just being nice out of pity (yeah, the twists and turns my mind can take are pretty convoluted sometimes).
Running as therapy, huh?
Well, it's cheaper than a psychiatrist. :-)
Have a great day, y'all!
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
March 2011 - February 2012
I know, I know... Wednesday's supposed to be wordless so what the heck is with all the text on this page?
My blog... I get to break the rules if I want to.
Yesterday was Valentine's Day and Jim took me out to the Tilted Kilt for dinner. It was fantastic! And during the course of dinner I asked him to take a picture. I remembered having a picture taken at Raglan Road about a year ago and I figured since I was in another Irish pub atmosphere I'd get in something of the same pose as that. So here's me, about a year apart.
March 2011
And February 2012
All I can say is WOW! Now that'd definitely a pair of shots I'm going to have to build a scrapbook page around. Talk about inspiration!!!
My blog... I get to break the rules if I want to.
Yesterday was Valentine's Day and Jim took me out to the Tilted Kilt for dinner. It was fantastic! And during the course of dinner I asked him to take a picture. I remembered having a picture taken at Raglan Road about a year ago and I figured since I was in another Irish pub atmosphere I'd get in something of the same pose as that. So here's me, about a year apart.
March 2011
And February 2012
All I can say is WOW! Now that'd definitely a pair of shots I'm going to have to build a scrapbook page around. Talk about inspiration!!!
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Happy Valentines Day
Good morning all! And welcome to another Tuesday Tunes.
This morning I share a song that never fails to bring a memory. It was years ago -- before the kids were born, back when I was going to Star Trek conventions a lot. It was also when I was living in Tallahassee but Jim was in SC for a few months working up there. I was at a convention in Atlanta and having a good time at the dance and then this song came on. I sat at a table with a girlfriend, listened to the song, and fell into melancholy, thinking of how I missed Jim so much. When the song ended I decided to go back to the room as I was no longer fit company. I said goodnight to my friend and got up to go. As soon as I turned around, there he was. Jim was standing right in front of me. To say I was surprised, shocked and elated would be an understatement, but there really are no words for the flood of emotion that tore through me.
And now, whenever I hear this song, I get to remember those feelings and relive the moment.
Happy Valentine's Day, y'all!
This morning I share a song that never fails to bring a memory. It was years ago -- before the kids were born, back when I was going to Star Trek conventions a lot. It was also when I was living in Tallahassee but Jim was in SC for a few months working up there. I was at a convention in Atlanta and having a good time at the dance and then this song came on. I sat at a table with a girlfriend, listened to the song, and fell into melancholy, thinking of how I missed Jim so much. When the song ended I decided to go back to the room as I was no longer fit company. I said goodnight to my friend and got up to go. As soon as I turned around, there he was. Jim was standing right in front of me. To say I was surprised, shocked and elated would be an understatement, but there really are no words for the flood of emotion that tore through me.
And now, whenever I hear this song, I get to remember those feelings and relive the moment.
Happy Valentine's Day, y'all!
Monday, February 13, 2012
I'm So Lucky
Sometimes I wonder how I got so freakin' lucky in my life. There are lots of things in my life that make me feel lucky -- times when I just absolutely know that God and my Daddy and Lynn are watching after me. Or maybe there really is something to this karma thing. Because my life has unfolded in such a manner that there's no way in Hades I've earned some of the good things that have happened to me.
The very bestest thing that ever happened to me was meeting and marrying this wonderful man of mine. Y'all may sometimes think it's silly or cheesy the way I love this man but believe me he earns every single bit of respect, deference and adoration I give him. I was reminded of that a few times this weekend.
The first time was when I was talking to him about the Mud Crusade that I'm doing in Tampa on April 22nd. This is the 5K obstacle course race. I wanted to get his input on how best to train for some of the obstacles and wanted to review them again myself because I hadn't looked at them in a few weeks. In case you're interested in what I'll be doing (or perhaps confirming to yourself just how crazy I am) go to their page (will open in a new window so you may need to turn off popup blocking) and scroll down to where it shows the map. Each obstacle is marked on the map and if you click on the number you get a short description and a picture. Anyway, so we were reviewing the obstacles and he asked me why I would want to do something like this. I told him it was the challenge -- just to see if I could do it. He didn't say anything else but I could kind of feel him internally shaking his head in wonder at the idea of doing something this demanding just because.
Later that same day as we were driving back from the store I wanted to show him my long run route. I'd told him previously that I run around the neighborhood a few times but I wanted him to actually see the route I take. About halfway through he asked me "and you do this multiple times?" I could hear the incredulity in his voice. Not that he doesn't believe I do it, mind you. But I know him and I know how much he detests running. He has since his days in Army ROTC when he had to do a lot of running. And I know he just doesn't "get" why I would want to do something like this voluntarily.
Now don't get me wrong. This is a smart man. I know he understands it intellectually. But to actually "get" it... to understand in his heart why I would subject myself to the physical demands and, yes, sometimes the pain of doing all of this... no... he doesn't actually "get" it. But that doesn't seem to matter to him. This is something that's important to me and because it's important to me, he's 100% behind it.
Oh sure... he worries about me. He used to tell me that a woman my age can't just take up running. Of course, I haven't heard that in a few weeks. Not since I started logging multiple miles on Saturday mornings. But his concern doesn't get in the way of believing in me. And I know he does. He's not ever surprised when I tell him how far I ran or what my latest accomplishment is. Supporting and wonderful about it he is, but never surprised. It's like he just knows in the pit of his stomach that I'm gonna do whatever it is I set out to do. And boy, oh boy, oh boy is that belief he has in me empowering!!!!!
And just this morning I got an email from him in reply to an idea my sisters gave me about donating excess skin and thus getting a free tummy tuck and helping other people at the same time. He's all in favor of the idea and said something very sweet about how it would enhance the way I look which is something he knows I've been working hard for and am quite proud of myself about. And what's so sweet about a husband being happy that his wife is looking good physically? Maybe nothing in most men, but with this man I know that isn't what appeals to him the most about me. I asked him point blank a while back what he likes best about me and his answer was my mind. (Yeah, he got a huge banking of husband points for that answer! ;-) ).
So...the bottom line is even if he doesn't "get" it and though my physical appearance doesn't matter to him near as much as it does to me, he's incredibly supportive of this fitness thing that I've been doing. I'm not surprised because he's been that way for 25 years. Whatever it is that I get into he's always been incredibly supportive. He knows that whatever it is that I set my sights on, this bulldog of a woman he married is gonna get it. And that obvious belief that he has in me shores me up during those times when I doubt myself.
This man loves me. And what's more he leaves absolutely no room for doubt that he does love me and believe in me. For someone that can be as insecure as I can be about myself, that's an incredible safety net! I've always said that this man somehow lets me be totally and completely free and totally and completely protected at the same time. I don't know how he does it but that's exactly what I feel. And I know myself well enough to know I can be a bit selfish and childish sometimes.
Okay... maybe more than sometimes.
But he doesn't care. He loves me and cheers with me when I'm strong. And he loves me and encourages me when I'm weak. There is no logical or reasonable explanation for why I have such a pillar of strength at my back but I'm so very grateful and happy that I do. And I count myself incredibly lucky to have this marvelous King Charming as all mine.
The very bestest thing that ever happened to me was meeting and marrying this wonderful man of mine. Y'all may sometimes think it's silly or cheesy the way I love this man but believe me he earns every single bit of respect, deference and adoration I give him. I was reminded of that a few times this weekend.
The first time was when I was talking to him about the Mud Crusade that I'm doing in Tampa on April 22nd. This is the 5K obstacle course race. I wanted to get his input on how best to train for some of the obstacles and wanted to review them again myself because I hadn't looked at them in a few weeks. In case you're interested in what I'll be doing (or perhaps confirming to yourself just how crazy I am) go to their page (will open in a new window so you may need to turn off popup blocking) and scroll down to where it shows the map. Each obstacle is marked on the map and if you click on the number you get a short description and a picture. Anyway, so we were reviewing the obstacles and he asked me why I would want to do something like this. I told him it was the challenge -- just to see if I could do it. He didn't say anything else but I could kind of feel him internally shaking his head in wonder at the idea of doing something this demanding just because.
Later that same day as we were driving back from the store I wanted to show him my long run route. I'd told him previously that I run around the neighborhood a few times but I wanted him to actually see the route I take. About halfway through he asked me "and you do this multiple times?" I could hear the incredulity in his voice. Not that he doesn't believe I do it, mind you. But I know him and I know how much he detests running. He has since his days in Army ROTC when he had to do a lot of running. And I know he just doesn't "get" why I would want to do something like this voluntarily.
Now don't get me wrong. This is a smart man. I know he understands it intellectually. But to actually "get" it... to understand in his heart why I would subject myself to the physical demands and, yes, sometimes the pain of doing all of this... no... he doesn't actually "get" it. But that doesn't seem to matter to him. This is something that's important to me and because it's important to me, he's 100% behind it.
Oh sure... he worries about me. He used to tell me that a woman my age can't just take up running. Of course, I haven't heard that in a few weeks. Not since I started logging multiple miles on Saturday mornings. But his concern doesn't get in the way of believing in me. And I know he does. He's not ever surprised when I tell him how far I ran or what my latest accomplishment is. Supporting and wonderful about it he is, but never surprised. It's like he just knows in the pit of his stomach that I'm gonna do whatever it is I set out to do. And boy, oh boy, oh boy is that belief he has in me empowering!!!!!
And just this morning I got an email from him in reply to an idea my sisters gave me about donating excess skin and thus getting a free tummy tuck and helping other people at the same time. He's all in favor of the idea and said something very sweet about how it would enhance the way I look which is something he knows I've been working hard for and am quite proud of myself about. And what's so sweet about a husband being happy that his wife is looking good physically? Maybe nothing in most men, but with this man I know that isn't what appeals to him the most about me. I asked him point blank a while back what he likes best about me and his answer was my mind. (Yeah, he got a huge banking of husband points for that answer! ;-) ).
So...the bottom line is even if he doesn't "get" it and though my physical appearance doesn't matter to him near as much as it does to me, he's incredibly supportive of this fitness thing that I've been doing. I'm not surprised because he's been that way for 25 years. Whatever it is that I get into he's always been incredibly supportive. He knows that whatever it is that I set my sights on, this bulldog of a woman he married is gonna get it. And that obvious belief that he has in me shores me up during those times when I doubt myself.
This man loves me. And what's more he leaves absolutely no room for doubt that he does love me and believe in me. For someone that can be as insecure as I can be about myself, that's an incredible safety net! I've always said that this man somehow lets me be totally and completely free and totally and completely protected at the same time. I don't know how he does it but that's exactly what I feel. And I know myself well enough to know I can be a bit selfish and childish sometimes.
Okay... maybe more than sometimes.
But he doesn't care. He loves me and cheers with me when I'm strong. And he loves me and encourages me when I'm weak. There is no logical or reasonable explanation for why I have such a pillar of strength at my back but I'm so very grateful and happy that I do. And I count myself incredibly lucky to have this marvelous King Charming as all mine.
Saturday, February 11, 2012
New Distance Record for Me!
Hey y'all,
Just popped in to say guess what I did this morning.
Not bad. Not bad at all! Not happy with the pace but the distance is getting there. By next weekend (when I add another lap around the neighborhood) I should have the 13.1 conquered. Then it'll just be a matter of getting the pace down and learning to deal with our brutal Florida summers.
Anything -- anything! -- is do-able if you want it bad enough. Or, as Yoda said so many years ago, "Do or do not...there is no try."
Y'all have a great weekend! I'm going shopping!!
Just popped in to say guess what I did this morning.
Not bad. Not bad at all! Not happy with the pace but the distance is getting there. By next weekend (when I add another lap around the neighborhood) I should have the 13.1 conquered. Then it'll just be a matter of getting the pace down and learning to deal with our brutal Florida summers.
Anything -- anything! -- is do-able if you want it bad enough. Or, as Yoda said so many years ago, "Do or do not...there is no try."
Y'all have a great weekend! I'm going shopping!!
Friday, February 10, 2012
What Does Your Weekend Hold
Happy Friday, All!
So do you have big plans for the weekend? Mine are fairly simple so far. At this point I'd be doing really good to get my butt up from this computer and get it to the gym. So hard to get motivated on weight days. I don't really like the weight lifting but I do like the results I'm seeing from it so........
I'm also trying to decide if I'm going to do four laps around the neighborhood this weekend or keep it at three. It'd be easier to keep it at three. Especially since I feel like I barely finished that last weekend. Part of me says I should keep it at three for another week until my body gets used to that. But I probably won't. If I do four it's that much closer to my eventual goal of 13.1.
Actually, I've been thinking.......
Dangerous, I know.
But I've been thinking that if it's this easy for me to get close to 13.1 then maybe I should just go for the whole marathon. It'd be 26.2 but I'm pretty sure I could get to that by November. Guess I'll have to check into the cost of the race and the timing. Those will probably be the deciding factors.
But back to the weekend.... so I've got my long run this weekend. That's a given. But for the most part I expect to sit around and take it easy. A far cry from last weekend, I know. But I'm way too old to party like that on a regular basis.
But now it's ten of five and I have to get moving if I'm going to get my butt to the gym. Hope y'all have some fun Friday plans too.
Thursday, February 9, 2012
True Success Comes From Within
“Perhaps the most valuable result of all education is the ability to make yourself do the thing you have to do, when it ought to be done, whether you like it or not. It is the first lesson that ought to be learned and however early a man's training begins, it is probably the last lesson that he learns thoroughly.” -- Thomas Henry Huxley
I was putzing around my quote sites this morning and found this and it really spoke to me. "To make yourself do the thing...." is right. The more I think about it the more I'm convinced that this is the absolute key to success. Some people are dependent on others to motivate them. They need to know that if they don't do whatever it is they're supposed to be doing someone will notice and say something.
It's kind of like going to Confession. Sometimes, you do the right thing just because you don't want to have to admit during Confession that you did the wrong thing. And for some that's necessary. Some people require the accountability and it's what keeps them doing the right thing.
Those people are weak.
One day their confessor/coach/workout buddy won't be around and then where will their motivation be? And without their external motivation, what will prompt their training and the continuation of their abilities. No, true success comes from finding the strength within yourself to do what you know you should do when you know you should do it. Only then can you know that you will continue to do the right thing even when there's no one else around. Because only when your coach is yourself can you be sure that your coach will always be around.
Now if you'll excuse me, my inner coach is telling me to get away from this computer and get my butt to the gym because we have goals to reach and walls to break through today.
I was putzing around my quote sites this morning and found this and it really spoke to me. "To make yourself do the thing...." is right. The more I think about it the more I'm convinced that this is the absolute key to success. Some people are dependent on others to motivate them. They need to know that if they don't do whatever it is they're supposed to be doing someone will notice and say something.
It's kind of like going to Confession. Sometimes, you do the right thing just because you don't want to have to admit during Confession that you did the wrong thing. And for some that's necessary. Some people require the accountability and it's what keeps them doing the right thing.
Those people are weak.
One day their confessor/coach/workout buddy won't be around and then where will their motivation be? And without their external motivation, what will prompt their training and the continuation of their abilities. No, true success comes from finding the strength within yourself to do what you know you should do when you know you should do it. Only then can you know that you will continue to do the right thing even when there's no one else around. Because only when your coach is yourself can you be sure that your coach will always be around.
Now if you'll excuse me, my inner coach is telling me to get away from this computer and get my butt to the gym because we have goals to reach and walls to break through today.
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Will You?
It's Wordless Wednesday so you don't have to listen to me drone on and on today.
You're welcome.
You're welcome.
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Forget the Cake -- Take the Cup
Good morning, everyone!
Hope everyone had a strong start to the week yesterday. But if you didn't remember that, as Scarlett said, "tomorrow is another day". That's the beautiful thing about life -- no matter what yesterday was like, today is a new day. A new start. A new race to be run every day. So whether yesterday was strong or (like mine) a bit on the weak and recovering side, today is a new chance.
The cup of life is right there. It's yours for the taking but you have to do the taking. No one's going to pick it up off the shelf and drop it in your lap. You have to climb up there and take that bad boy. And once you start the climb you have to be strong enough to ignore the distractions that might turn you from your goal. Sure it's trite, but it's true -- keep your eyes on the prize and keep moving forward. And like my Daddy taught me, if it's worth my time to do, it's worth doing right. So today I wake up, jump outta the bed full of fire and energy and start the climb. 'Cause that sucker's mine and ain't nothing gonna stop me from getting it.
What's your cup? Mine is doing the mudrun in April and doing the half in November, but what goal have you set for yourself? Do you really want it? Then go and get it!
Hope everyone had a strong start to the week yesterday. But if you didn't remember that, as Scarlett said, "tomorrow is another day". That's the beautiful thing about life -- no matter what yesterday was like, today is a new day. A new start. A new race to be run every day. So whether yesterday was strong or (like mine) a bit on the weak and recovering side, today is a new chance.
The cup of life is right there. It's yours for the taking but you have to do the taking. No one's going to pick it up off the shelf and drop it in your lap. You have to climb up there and take that bad boy. And once you start the climb you have to be strong enough to ignore the distractions that might turn you from your goal. Sure it's trite, but it's true -- keep your eyes on the prize and keep moving forward. And like my Daddy taught me, if it's worth my time to do, it's worth doing right. So today I wake up, jump outta the bed full of fire and energy and start the climb. 'Cause that sucker's mine and ain't nothing gonna stop me from getting it.
What's your cup? Mine is doing the mudrun in April and doing the half in November, but what goal have you set for yourself? Do you really want it? Then go and get it!
Monday, February 6, 2012
And The Beat Goes On....
I'm running late for work today. I think my son had the right of it when he said the day after the Superbowl should be a holiday! But, I didn't want to leave you on tenderhooks wondering what my Monday Musing was going to be, so... here it is, short and sweet.
First, I went to Tallahassee this past weekend and went out with a bunch of girlfriends on Saturday night. And after the Saturday morning I had, let me just say that this night was so very needed and so very, very soul-fulfilling and affirming. And I have the pictures to remind me so next time I'm feeling a bit less than worthy, I'll pull these pics out and remind myself how lavishly loved I am when I'm more careful in my selection of friends.
Second, I've been curious lately about whether or not this pace-improvement thing is mostly in my mind or not. So I went out to Runkeeper and checked. And I found that back in March, my average pace -- for the three piddly walks I did during the course of the entire month -- was about 17:30 per mile. Saturday before leaving for Tally I walked 9.02 miles around the neighborhood. I wasn't thrilled with my pace but consoled myself with the rememberence that my long runs are all about increasing endurance, not improving pace. And my pace on Saturday? 13:44 min/mile!!!
Y'all have a great Monday!
First, I went to Tallahassee this past weekend and went out with a bunch of girlfriends on Saturday night. And after the Saturday morning I had, let me just say that this night was so very needed and so very, very soul-fulfilling and affirming. And I have the pictures to remind me so next time I'm feeling a bit less than worthy, I'll pull these pics out and remind myself how lavishly loved I am when I'm more careful in my selection of friends.
Second, I've been curious lately about whether or not this pace-improvement thing is mostly in my mind or not. So I went out to Runkeeper and checked. And I found that back in March, my average pace -- for the three piddly walks I did during the course of the entire month -- was about 17:30 per mile. Saturday before leaving for Tally I walked 9.02 miles around the neighborhood. I wasn't thrilled with my pace but consoled myself with the rememberence that my long runs are all about increasing endurance, not improving pace. And my pace on Saturday? 13:44 min/mile!!!
Y'all have a great Monday!
Friday, February 3, 2012
Weekend Plans
Thank goodness it's finally Friday!
Don't get me wrong. I love my job and I'm totally committed to working out and getting (even) healthier. But I can't say that I actually enjoy getting up at 3:15 every morning. Friday is the day when I can see the light at the end of the tunnel and know that I get two "vacation" days if I can just do this crazy thing one more time.
Of course, it also means that my long run is the next day. This weekend I'm going to try to make it three laps around the neighborhood. According to the RunKeeper map, that will be about 8.75 miles. I'm figuring it will take me about 2 hours or so. And that's going to be the hardest part -- carving out the time to do it. I have so much to do this weekend that giving over a couple of hours to running is not going to be easy. But I figure if I start at 7:30 or 8:00 in the morning then I'll be done by 10 and can get in the shower and be ready to really start in on the weekend by 11:00 or noon.
Oh man! Even as I typed that in I can feel my body saying "are you freakin' serious?!?!" Yes, Body, I am. This is what we're going to do. Get used to the idea. Failure is NOT an option.
Especially after everything I put in my mouth yesterday. During the day I had the munchies something fierce. And they had cake at the office (I had a small piece). And a bunch of us went out to Thai for lunch and I do so love me some pad thai! And when I got home I was feeling a bit down so I used that as an excuse to eat everything in sight. Sooooooo.... even though it's not on my plan to go that far until about the middle of March, it's going to happen this weekend. After all, the piper must be paid.
Thursday, February 2, 2012
It's Kind Of Fun...
It's kind of fun to do the impossible. -- Walt Disney
Welcome to Thursday Thoughts. Every Thursday I'll bring you a quote that inspires me. Hopefully it will inspire you too.
Today I thought it rather fitting that we start with one of my favorite quotes from Walt Disney. When he arrived in California with $40 and a suitcase, no one could have forseen the empire he would build. I've read studies that show many kids don't even know there was a real Walt Disney... they figure it's just the name of a vacation destination. But I find it more helpful to remember that before there were multiple theme parks, before there were mega-smash hit movies, before there was even the mouse that started it all, there was a man. A man with a dream and a vision.
When I was 280 lbs it would have been absolutely impossible for me to even think about doing a half-marathon. At that time when I'd go walking with my girlfriends it'd take us 3 hours to do six miles. And to be quite honest it's because I couldn't keep a faster pace. That's about a 30 min/mile pace and you have to maintain a 16 min/mile pace not to get swept from a Disney race so doing a Disney half would be absolutely impossible.
But now? Now it's becoming quite do-able.
What changed? Me. I changed. I decided I was going to shoot for this impossible goal and now I find myself almost halfway to achieving it (doing 5.9 miles this past weekend... that's almost half the course and I have until November to work up to the 13.1).
Anything is possible as long as you're willing to conquer the obstacles and put forth the work to make it happen. And that feeling of accomplishment you get when you've done something that was once considered impossible? Yeah, that's gonna be a bit more than "kind of fun".
Welcome to Thursday Thoughts. Every Thursday I'll bring you a quote that inspires me. Hopefully it will inspire you too.
Today I thought it rather fitting that we start with one of my favorite quotes from Walt Disney. When he arrived in California with $40 and a suitcase, no one could have forseen the empire he would build. I've read studies that show many kids don't even know there was a real Walt Disney... they figure it's just the name of a vacation destination. But I find it more helpful to remember that before there were multiple theme parks, before there were mega-smash hit movies, before there was even the mouse that started it all, there was a man. A man with a dream and a vision.
When I was 280 lbs it would have been absolutely impossible for me to even think about doing a half-marathon. At that time when I'd go walking with my girlfriends it'd take us 3 hours to do six miles. And to be quite honest it's because I couldn't keep a faster pace. That's about a 30 min/mile pace and you have to maintain a 16 min/mile pace not to get swept from a Disney race so doing a Disney half would be absolutely impossible.
But now? Now it's becoming quite do-able.
What changed? Me. I changed. I decided I was going to shoot for this impossible goal and now I find myself almost halfway to achieving it (doing 5.9 miles this past weekend... that's almost half the course and I have until November to work up to the 13.1).
Anything is possible as long as you're willing to conquer the obstacles and put forth the work to make it happen. And that feeling of accomplishment you get when you've done something that was once considered impossible? Yeah, that's gonna be a bit more than "kind of fun".
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
What Are You Chasing
Welcome to Wordless Wednesdays.
When you're partway between where you started and where you want to be, this is good to remember.
When you're partway between where you started and where you want to be, this is good to remember.
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