Sometimes I wonder how I got so freakin' lucky in my life. There are lots of things in my life that make me feel lucky -- times when I just absolutely know that God and my Daddy and Lynn are watching after me. Or maybe there really is something to this karma thing. Because my life has unfolded in such a manner that there's no way in Hades I've earned some of the good things that have happened to me.
The very bestest thing that ever happened to me was meeting and marrying this wonderful man of mine. Y'all may sometimes think it's silly or cheesy the way I love this man but believe me he earns every single bit of respect, deference and adoration I give him. I was reminded of that a few times this weekend.
The first time was when I was talking to him about the Mud Crusade that I'm doing in Tampa on April 22nd. This is the 5K obstacle course race. I wanted to get his input on how best to train for some of the obstacles and wanted to review them again myself because I hadn't looked at them in a few weeks. In case you're interested in what I'll be doing (or perhaps confirming to yourself just how crazy I am) go to their page (will open in a new window so you may need to turn off popup blocking) and scroll down to where it shows the map. Each obstacle is marked on the map and if you click on the number you get a short description and a picture. Anyway, so we were reviewing the obstacles and he asked me why I would want to do something like this. I told him it was the challenge -- just to see if I could do it. He didn't say anything else but I could kind of feel him internally shaking his head in wonder at the idea of doing something this demanding just because.
Later that same day as we were driving back from the store I wanted to show him my long run route. I'd told him previously that I run around the neighborhood a few times but I wanted him to actually see the route I take. About halfway through he asked me "and you do this multiple times?" I could hear the incredulity in his voice. Not that he doesn't believe I do it, mind you. But I know him and I know how much he detests running. He has since his days in Army ROTC when he had to do a lot of running. And I know he just doesn't "get" why I would want to do something like this voluntarily.
Now don't get me wrong. This is a smart man. I know he understands it intellectually. But to actually "get" it... to understand in his heart why I would subject myself to the physical demands and, yes, sometimes the pain of doing all of this... no... he doesn't actually "get" it. But that doesn't seem to matter to him. This is something that's important to me and because it's important to me, he's 100% behind it.
Oh sure... he worries about me. He used to tell me that a woman my age can't just take up running. Of course, I haven't heard that in a few weeks. Not since I started logging multiple miles on Saturday mornings. But his concern doesn't get in the way of believing in me. And I know he does. He's not ever surprised when I tell him how far I ran or what my latest accomplishment is. Supporting and wonderful about it he is, but never surprised. It's like he just knows in the pit of his stomach that I'm gonna do whatever it is I set out to do. And boy, oh boy, oh boy is that belief he has in me empowering!!!!!
And just this morning I got an email from him in reply to an idea my sisters gave me about donating excess skin and thus getting a free tummy tuck and helping other people at the same time. He's all in favor of the idea and said something very sweet about how it would enhance the way I look which is something he knows I've been working hard for and am quite proud of myself about. And what's so sweet about a husband being happy that his wife is looking good physically? Maybe nothing in most men, but with this man I know that isn't what appeals to him the most about me. I asked him point blank a while back what he likes best about me and his answer was my mind. (Yeah, he got a huge banking of husband points for that answer! ;-) ).
So...the bottom line is even if he doesn't "get" it and though my physical appearance doesn't matter to him near as much as it does to me, he's incredibly supportive of this fitness thing that I've been doing. I'm not surprised because he's been that way for 25 years. Whatever it is that I get into he's always been incredibly supportive. He knows that whatever it is that I set my sights on, this bulldog of a woman he married is gonna get it. And that obvious belief that he has in me shores me up during those times when I doubt myself.
This man loves me. And what's more he leaves absolutely no room for doubt that he does love me and believe in me. For someone that can be as insecure as I can be about myself, that's an incredible safety net! I've always said that this man somehow lets me be totally and completely free and totally and completely protected at the same time. I don't know how he does it but that's exactly what I feel. And I know myself well enough to know I can be a bit selfish and childish sometimes.
Okay... maybe more than sometimes.
But he doesn't care. He loves me and cheers with me when I'm strong. And he loves me and encourages me when I'm weak. There is no logical or reasonable explanation for why I have such a pillar of strength at my back but I'm so very grateful and happy that I do. And I count myself incredibly lucky to have this marvelous King Charming as all mine.
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